He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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