even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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