cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did you pee in the oven last night??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
