so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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