I just pynch a tree in the face
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
