We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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