it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
