I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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