i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
