i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
