I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids