three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other