next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
