Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
