Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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