i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
