ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
