I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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