We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
