so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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