This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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