anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
