Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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