Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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