Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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