Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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