do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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