Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
