i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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