Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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