literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
