When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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