ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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