I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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