I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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