why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?