Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.

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  (517): yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox. http://tfl.nu/4oix
  Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (818)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance

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  (918): Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance http://tfl.nu/628h
  Replies (12) Good night (3442) Bad night (618)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.

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  (407): He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven. http://tfl.nu/duyw
  Replies (10) Good night (944) Bad night (4174)
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  (650): View more from California

  Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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  (650): Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us. http://tfl.nu/ztab
  Replies (31) Good night (14125) Bad night (1152)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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  (919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd. http://tfl.nu/5f3i
  Replies (64) Good night (8983) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there

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  (315): don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there http://tfl.nu/ybdj
  Replies (4) Good night (4453) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out

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  (610): Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out http://tfl.nu/ac78
  Replies (7) Good night (3811) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.

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  (202): We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open. http://tfl.nu/2rgi
  Replies (7) Good night (2616) Bad night (798)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.

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  (970): She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech. http://tfl.nu/63c3
  Replies (2) Good night (1155) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building

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  (314): My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building http://tfl.nu/5uwh
  Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked her politely not to touch my dick

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  (703): I asked her politely not to touch my dick http://tfl.nu/5dz2
  Replies (6) Good night (734) Bad night (1537)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.

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  (512): So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0h6g
  Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  we are not taking body shots with the irish cream

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  (719): we are not taking body shots with the irish cream http://tfl.nu/n0m2
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody

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  (517): I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody http://tfl.nu/wfwi
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (142)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

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  (616): His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma http://tfl.nu/spx4
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (112)

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