i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.