Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
