I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.