Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.

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(253): I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then. http://tfl.nu/hci4

Replies (9) Good night (2257) Bad night (538)
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(404): View more from Georgia

My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.

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(404): My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early. http://tfl.nu/9qa8

Replies (5) Good night (1902) Bad night (586)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.

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(508): He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think. http://tfl.nu/5bqt

Replies (36) Good night (6329) Bad night (551)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.

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(215): I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days. http://tfl.nu/h5el

Replies (25) Good night (4310) Bad night (1188)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

so yall hooked up?

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(203): I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone. (1-203): so yall hooked up? http://tfl.nu/j54f

Replies (19) Good night (5466) Bad night (1388)
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(216): View more from Ohio

there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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(216): there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay http://tfl.nu/f4sg

Replies (21) Good night (3882) Bad night (1638)
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(417): View more from Missouri

He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

I love foreign exchange students.

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(417): He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish. (1-417): I love foreign exchange students. http://tfl.nu/3hb4

Replies (6) Good night (3740) Bad night (729)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.

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(734): I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises. http://tfl.nu/ybn2

Replies (14) Good night (2842) Bad night (1183)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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(918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy

Replies (2) Good night (2013) Bad night (668)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?

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(337): How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/ms4s

Replies (6) Good night (2776) Bad night (798)
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(718): View more from New York

ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE

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(718): ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE http://tfl.nu/zykk

Replies (8) Good night (2063) Bad night (570)
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(770): View more from Georgia

My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

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(770): My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways. http://tfl.nu/0awx

Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (711)
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(631): View more from New York

most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.

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(631): most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/lst9

Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (789)
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(210): View more from Texas

It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.

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(210): It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger. http://tfl.nu/wgf0

Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (711)
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(407): View more from Florida

When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.

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(407): When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night. http://tfl.nu/dw2v

Replies (6) Good night (1020) Bad night (227)

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