did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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