so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
