Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
