put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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