So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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