so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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