it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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