I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
