My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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