As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
