Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
