I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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