that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
All I want is dick and wine.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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