i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
