Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
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