She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
