He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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