; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
