If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
