dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't think brook has ever known best
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
