a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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