Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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