All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
