the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He better not be in your backpack
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
