make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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