She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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