so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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