Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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