This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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